Writing as a means of exploration.

I'm back.  Maybe.

I took a little break to focus on my other blog, The Littlest Lesko, which was supposed to act as a journal of my pregnancy (check) and a baby book for Gus (fail).  I had a very traumatic birth experience and a difficult transition into motherhood, and that blog fell to the wayside.  So, 4 years later (holy shit), here I am, back and ready to write about all kinds of different things.

I will not be writing about my birth experience, so don't ask.  It wasn't pretty.  But, if you buy me lots of wine (I'm really into New Zealand Sauvignon Blancs right now) and ask me halfway through the bottle, I'll tell you more than you ever wanted to know.

So,what's changed?

Uh, well, I have a kid now.  His name is Gus, and he's THREE.  Basically, he's going to college next week, so I'm scrambling to find myself and some purpose before he goes and I'm left all by my lonesome.

Still married.  Woohoo!

I don't walk dogs anymore.  I couldn't make the time when Gus was tiny, and now, while I could probably make the time, I'd rather be doing other things.  I still hold those days and those dogs dear in my heart, so don't think I'm brushing that off.

Still work at the same place.  Do stuff a little different.  Last time we talked, I was managing the peony garden, bonsai, orchids, and bomeliads.  Now, I do the bonsai, orchids, medicinal garden, and Gateway Garden. I'll show you some pictures sometime.  3 days a week - so I can be home with Gus.  Good balance.  Usually.

My "r" key keeps sticking because I'm on the same computer I was 4 years ago.  I'm amazed it's still alive, though I've accessorized with some duct tape and crumbs.

I drink a LOT more coffee now.

So, what should you expect?

I'm not really sure, honestly.  I've been feeling kind of at an impasse in my life, and I'm going to use writing to explore it.  I have some project ideas brewing, so we'll see.  I wanted to come back to this blog instead of starting a new one because I always start new ones and then lose all the old stuff and never finish anything I start.  I definitely feel like I've outgrown most of what I've written about, but isn't that what always happens?  I'm trying something new and leaving it here where I can see it and where you can see it instead of hiding it or walking away from it.  There's some good stuff in there.  Probably.  I haven't gone back to read it, but you can if you want.